dead
Posted on Oct 24th, 2007
by 
Zo
Zo
(my ex was kidnapped at knife point, beaten, and sexually assaulted
I alienated my best friend because i am threatened by her new life and her ex
I am truly and absolutely alone)
I alienated my best friend because i am threatened by her new life and her ex
I am truly and absolutely alone)
nothing is real anymore
everything hides in some type of fear, pain
love is not enough
for there is nothing to conduct it
my tongue only sounds malice
my eyes only shoot hate
sinking heart of loneliness
pushing, pushing, with much venom
all those i would hope to love
shattered, scattered to the winds of chance
circumstance gives them love, regret
my will is to circumvent that
and do nothing
no karma
no action
just atrophy
a still abyss
mental abortion
waste
away
my hungering hope
leave nothing behind
for nothing is before me
nothing is within me
echoes of failure
for nothing reflects
the invisible me
I Want To Die by Mortal Love
I'm too tired of this life
All I need is my big sleep
You are so far away
You love someone else
Another day passed me by
Another day filled with pain
You are not here
You're with someone else
I love you to death
You love someone else
So I just wanna die
Create hate
I hate myself for loving you
"We have touched for the last time
You are long gone, in love with someone else
I now fear nothing but life itself
And I have learned that living is just a slow way to die
I do not believe in life or in love anymore.
The joy I feel are the joys of emptiness
I hate myself for loving you
The fear I feel night after night has developed into a disease
No-one can see the emptiness in my eyes.
To escape life itself now seems the only solution
With relief i look foward of letting go of the pain
Finally... there is peace in my soul
To lie dead without a concern , without a tear,
You own my heart
And life without you is so imensly painful
Just to think of you, talk about you, dream of you makes tears stream down
my face
I cannot imagine happiness without your beautiful smile, your angelic face,
your wonderful body and your good heart:
You are everything , I am nothing
I want to die
But really... I am already dead"
I will not live
I'm too tired of this life
All I need is my big sleep
You are so far away
You love someone else
Another day passed me by
Another day filled with pain
You are not here
You're with someone else
I love you to death
You love someone else
So I just wanna die
Create hate
I hate myself for loving you
"We have touched for the last time
You are long gone, in love with someone else
I now fear nothing but life itself
And I have learned that living is just a slow way to die
I do not believe in life or in love anymore.
The joy I feel are the joys of emptiness
I hate myself for loving you
The fear I feel night after night has developed into a disease
No-one can see the emptiness in my eyes.
To escape life itself now seems the only solution
With relief i look foward of letting go of the pain
Finally... there is peace in my soul
To lie dead without a concern , without a tear,
You own my heart
And life without you is so imensly painful
Just to think of you, talk about you, dream of you makes tears stream down
my face
I cannot imagine happiness without your beautiful smile, your angelic face,
your wonderful body and your good heart:
You are everything , I am nothing
I want to die
But really... I am already dead"
I will not live
Access: PublicTagged with: gone
gone
July 2008 
Hi Zo,
I have been in a similar place this past year. It sucks. It realllly sucks. Pushing others away is natural when one wants to protect oneself from further hurt. Know that you are worthwhile and that you are loved.
love and peaches,
Sprite
Zo,
I love you. I don't know you…but I truly love you. The world needs you, come back to us. Push into this, not away. We need you.
Zo,
It sounds like you are feeling very alone right now. Please know that you are not. Just keep holding on, putting one foot in front ot the other. Not only will it get better but someday you'll understand it all and realize how much you've grown and that everything really does happen for a reason. I've felt this same despair and I know that it can be overwhelming (and insanely painful!). Having come out on the other side, I have that 20/20 that make me say “oh - ah ha!” and you will too.
Bunches of Love, Ayla