Phoenix from the Ashes?

My heart holds a kingdom
Dominion of perfect love
Where all are held
None are forsaken

Yet my body
An strengthening puppet
Composed of sighs, severed nerves
Swells with sombre cold fluids

Today at massage school... as deeply as I am hurt is as deeply as my clients where Happy!? Quite literally one lady wanted to follow me anywhere to get massages from me. The other lady... so contented... when I Looked into her Heart... I saw a small child held by an angel.

So many people called me Gifted today....

Me, with the strength to invoke healing and peace....

I seem to have the same Angel Heart as my Mother...

She would care for the downtrodden, love the sick, and show mercy to the meek...

Yet to my Father... the Most Faithful One... her mercy rarely shined...

Often she demanded and shredded him to bits...

It breaks me heart

Because for all the cuts and scars

She did love him


So here I am... burning my body and heart... burning those who deserve only gentleness... tearing myself apart... until somehow... some way.....

This body/life reconstitutes into something so large that I could love the whole world... and truly Touch, Change and Transform things.

Yet sometimes the world is not this blue planet...

Sometimes the world is a little Bunny

Sometimes the world is a meek Panther

Sometimes the world is a cocky Fox

Sometimes the World is Me... I am a Kitty, a Dragon... a Button...

Somehow my massage clients can receive/feel my golden soul even when I am in sorrow...

So why can't those I love most feel my love?

Even as we cry and die

This Love will never stop Shining

I will walk the path that allows me to love/heal as many as possible

The path that makes this Family into a mighty Nation

Because even if this body is not allowed to hold a host of souls

The art, ideas, music, interactions, and energy that emit from me shall live beyond my limitations

And shall hold the broken hearted

Lifting up those who are crushed in spirit

My Love shall be my Immortality

For I will allow nothing to kill it

Even if no one wants/perceives it

In the silence where the winds sleep

A seed is planted

Even as it is crushed

Ever shall it Live